


Kings Must Play God

by Tvieandli



Category: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Genre: Gen, lord genome does freaky genetic experiments when he's drunk he later regrets deeply, potential body horror, wang pigeons, why must we play god senario
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 10:46:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4218777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tvieandli/pseuds/Tvieandli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Spiral King has access to the technology to create whatever creatures he wants. He fathered beastmen and a full ecosystem of animals fit to survive Earth's new climate after the war, but sometimes the power is a bit misplaced even in his "objective" hands. </p><p>Viral observes the aftermath of one of these particular cases in horror</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kings Must Play God

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This is an unfinished oneshot I wrote about two years ago as a gift for my SO that I stumbled across today and it was just too weird not to share. I can't think of how to finish it that would do it any justice at this point but here it is in all it's drop of an ending glory. I hope you enjoy it. I can't imagine how high I must have been to come up with an idea this fucked up. I don't even fully remember how the idea even came into existence.
> 
> So: Wang Pigeons.

It was about six in the morning, and much too early for them to be being called in to a meeting with the king, but there they were none the less. Viral tried desperately not to rub at his tired eyes as he stood by the door with the other lieutenants. The generals were making a much better show of standing at attention, all four of them had eyes trained front and center as the spiral king slowly made his way through the room to his throne.

"As you all know," he said, winding up the slope that lead to his seat. A design choice the man must have regretted as far as Viral was concerned because the sheer effort of climbing it would be monumental. How did the man get up to piss? "Last night we were all very drunk."

"It was a fun night," Guame commented off handedly. The king made a sound of agreement.

"Well, we currently have a bit of a situation regarding that," The king surmised, coming to a stop before the throne, and sitting down. "You remember the joke about the wang pigeons?"

Viral shook his head to clear his ears as the generals all agreed in unison, remarking that they did remember these "wang pigeons" of which he spoke. 

"Well I don't remember much else after that," Genome admitted, resting his chin in his palm. Viral could see the hangover clouding around the man's eyes. He felt a twinge of sympathy. Hangovers were pretty much his every morning. Not that he drank much. He just hated mornings. 

"Goodness, really?" Guame asked. Viral winced at his teasing tone. How the beast pulled off joking at the Spiral King, he would never understand. Much more likable people had been killed for less. "It's been at least a thousand years since the last time you blacked out drunk. What regrettable thing did you do this time?"

Genome almost looked like he felt guilty. "Nothing that effects me personally, thank the life forces that will ruin us. But I do feel I've out done myself in bad decision making." He paused then, closed his eyes for a moment as if to steel himself, and bellowed "Bring them out!"

A door opened at the far end of the room behind the throne, and three of the monkey beastmen that served the king directly wheeled out a large square object which was covered with a cloth. They stopped in the center of the room, right before everyone, and turned to the king. 

Curiously, Viral craned his head to get a better look. He felt a vague horror at what was under that sheet of fabric. What horrific thing were they about to be shown? What could the Spiral King truly regret?

Lord Genome waved his hand, and the cover was pulled to reveal a cage filled with odd, fleshy, pink birds with no heads. 

Viral blinked in confusion. He looked to the lieutenant beside him questioningly and the other beastman seemed just as confused.

"Good fuck, are those actual wang pigeons?" Cytomander asked.

They were.

Large, featherless, fleshy pigeons, their heads replaced by the heads of human penises, were shambling gracelessly around before the king's feet.

"Why?" Thymilph asked in apparent terror.

"I don't remember," The Spiral King said. His eyes were still shut as if he could not bring himself to look at the abominations he had created. 

"Too busy asking himself if he could to wonder if he should," Guame said softly. The king didn't react.

"Why are you telling us?" Adiane asked.

"I want you to deal with them," Genome said.

Each of the generals made a sound of protest, clearly afraid to get too close to the monstrous things. One of them wobbled to the edge of the cage and swung it's meaty head forward, oozing juices from the hole in the center of what must have been it's crown. The hole blinked at them.

"Holy shit it has a foreskin," Thymilph observed.

"Why?" Cytomander asked.

"This is priceless," Guame commented.

"I'm not touching that thing," was Adiane's input on the matter.

"Then make one of your subordinates do it. I don't care. Just take them out of my sight and do something with them that assures no one ever knows they existed," Lord Genome said. 

"Can we circumcise the wang pigeons? They look creepy," Adaine said. Guame snickered.

"Leve the poor things alone, they're living a hard enough life as it is," Cytomander chastised.

"Why did the hole blink?" Thymilph asked.

"That's it's eye, I think," the king explained.

Viral could not believe what he was seeing. He also couldn't seem to look away from the disgusting things. It was like watching a chain reaction in someone's engine during a training exercise.


End file.
